So, let's talk about Madame Web, a film that attempts to unpack the backstory of one of Marvel's most mysterious heroines. Dakota Johnson takes the lead, playing Cassandra Webb, a Manhattan paramedic who gains the ability to see into the future. She quickly realizes she can use her newfound powers to alter the course of events. As she grapples with shocking revelations about her past, she ends up forming a bond with three young women who are on the cusp of fulfilling their powerful destinies - that's if they can all make it through the perilous present.
On paper, Madame Web has all the ingredients for a captivating superhero psychological thriller. But sadly, the execution falls flat. The script is bogged down with too many unnecessary characters, overused archetypes, and bland dialogue, which fails to do justice to the talent of the cast and the potential future of its onscreen Spider-Women. It's a shame really - this clairvoyant superhero movie just can't seem to find its footing. The dialogue is awkward, there's a distinct lack of superhero action, and the performances and characters are forgettable at best.
The entire film feels like a drawn-out setup for a sequel that, unfortunately (or perhaps mercifully, depending on how you look at it), seems unattainable. It's as if the movie was made solely to hint at a more exciting film and sprinkle in some Spider-Man Easter eggs. The characters are woefully underdeveloped, the performances come across as wooden, and what few good ideas are present seem to be wasted. The dialogue is absurd, Johnson's performance is lackluster, and Rahim's poorly dubbed lines are delivered in an annoyingly low gravel. After two hours of setup, the credits roll, and you're left feeling unsatisfied, to say the least.
The film is overplotted and underwritten, featuring some of the most basic dialogue in recent memory, as well as character actions that don't really make sense. Beyond the disappointing writing, the special effects are a confusing blend of visuals, the action scenes are poorly edited, and the movie suffers from issues with pacing and editing. By the time the movie explains Webb’s powers, you're likely too disinterested to care. Everything about this film feels forced and artificial, from the dull dialogue to the irritating special effects, to the surprisingly uninspired performances, considering the caliber of the cast. Madame Web is a muddled mess of incoherent and abandoned storylines, and it's clear that little thought was given to the characters, the plot, or the final product.
Madame Web feels like a dodgy mashup of an extended Pepsi commercial and a teaser trailer for more spinoffs. This film is yet another misguided attempt by Sony to claim a slice of the Spider-Man pie, complete with some puzzlingly poor performances. However, the unintentional laughs do make it slightly less tedious than some of their other efforts. The fact that the writers of Sony’s 2022 flop Morbius were involved in this storyline didn't bode well, and sure enough, it's a letdown. The film comes across as another desperate attempt to keep the franchise alive, and it's just another disappointing entry into the seemingly endless string of Spider-Man movies without Spider-Man, leaving you to wonder, 'why?!' But hey, on to the next Sony project, the long-awaited Aaron Taylor-Johnson's Kraven the Hunter. Let's hope that one makes a least some sense.
In a nutshell, Madame Web is just plain bad. It teeters on the edge of being so-bad-it's-good, but it's just straightforward enough to miss that mark. This film would be a lot more enjoyable if it was either much better or much worse. It's not nearly good enough to be considered a top-tier superhero film, but it's also not bad enough to be an entertaining trainwreck like Batman & Robin. I'm a firm believer that to really appreciate a good movie, you need to have seen a bad one. It's pretty clear where Madame Web falls on that spectrum. It's a messy and pointless film that, despite having no ill intentions, simply has no reason to exist.
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